The Value in Vulnerability

What a concept right? Value in vulnerability?

If you’re anything like me and I am assuming you may be vulnerability is the very thing you fought so much against. It is what you spent most of your life proving yourself better than, stronger than. Saying to yourself “I aint no punk … [ you can fill in the rest]”

Am I right?

That’s how it was for me in regard to my relationship with vulnerability, pretending to put on a tough girl face when I was crumbling behind the scenes and eventually I wouldn’t be able to even do that.

You see there are so many misconceptions when it comes to wellness and I believe vulnerability is one of the biggest. It’s our very fear of letting the world know or let’s be real even admitting to ourselves that we need help that stops our wellness journey before it even begins. We think this shows weakness, that it’s an admission of failure but that couldn’t be rather from the truth.

I’m not here to tell you that its easy, through my personal experience even though my soul knew this was the path that will lead me to true healing my pride pushed, and pushed, it resisted, it snarled at me with sarcasm “oh your weakness is your strength, try it!”

And I did, I tested it and learned it is in fact my greatest strength. I’m no longer afraid of that lie! And it’s because of this truth, that I am going to share with you.

Despite popular belief needing help, reaching out or being honest about shortcomings or insecurities isn’t weak because taking action and ownership is always brave! If you are taking action in any from than you haven’t rolled over and given up, being honest and vulnerable is the exact opposite it is saying I’m worth fighting for and I refuse to fail.

Let’s make this even more easy to digest. If you were sick and your normal over the counter remedy didn’t work would you sit at home and think “Whelp, guess this it is”? of course you wouldn’t you would go the doctors and wouldn’t think twice about it. You’d take action because you know you were not meant to live the rest of your life feeling ill.

So, the very action of being vulnerable makes you strong because it opens the door to a remedy. It also reflects self-worth, inspires others and brings a deeper relationship to self.

My first act of true vulnerability came from my admittance of my depression just a few years ago. I was afraid of the diagnosis, terrified of being “medicated” and the stigma associated.

But…

Imagine if I broke a bone and in order to heal needed the assistance of a cast to realign that bone would you look down on me for wearing it? My guess is you wouldn’t. Now what’s the difference if something in my heart or being is “broken” and I need medication to realign my mental state or therapy or perhaps a wellness coach or anything for that matter? It’s the same. There is no shame in needing help.

(read that again)

In fact, it was after my public announcement of my depression did I see the true power in being vulnerable.

Shortly after posting one of my most naked and vulnerable posts of my life, I was written privately by a follower saying :

“I look up to you ...I felt every word in your post...thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts and emotions.”

From our vulnerability, we give others permission to be themselves too. We allow ourselves to have real connections with us through that vulnerability. We grow stronger. We grow together, We make the world a little safer for vulnerability to share its truth as a tool for victory and strength and help remove its stigma as weakness.

The woman I am today wouldn’t not be possible if I didn’t make my vulnerability my ally.

And if my words are not enough, check out this ted talk below

https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability#t-1200380

no time to watch? Well here are some of its highlights:

“In order for connection to happen we need to allow ourselves to be seen…REALLY SEEN”

even the stuff we don’t like the stuff we try to hide.

In the TED talk it mentions that

People who fully embraced vulnerability BELIEVED that it was what made them beautiful. It was not said to be comfortable or exciting but it was NECESSARRY.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity of belonging and of love.”

“When we numb vulnerability we also numb everything else such as love and joy.”

“We must believe we are enough”

You are enough! A thousand times over, even if you feel you are in a thousand pieces you are enough and it there is value in your vulnerability!

all my love,

NYA Wellness (Jena Gonzales)